So we did it again.

In the 14 months that I've been talking to the Red-bearded Wonder, we've had 3 disagreements or arguments. All three times it's been because I said something that he took to mean something I didn't mean. If that makes sense. All three times he got so mad about it, he didn't talk to me about it for days. Which if he would have, I could have cleared things up and maybe there wouldn't have been a rift at all. But whatever, still that's not too bad a track record for more than a year of talking together.

This time around though, some of my dearest friends and family were like, "Nikki, he's being an asshole to you! Don't let him treat you like that! Walk away!!"

Our relationship (which he avoids that word) isn't like most people have, or would understand. We're not a couple, but more than friends. We talk about everything and nothing and make each other feel better and just goof off together. I love him. I'm crazy about him. He's not too sure that's the word for whatever he feels for me. He's still so bitter about his divorce, he's not sure he's ready for a relationship or ever will be. So who knows if anything will ever come of us, other than somebody to get through the hard times of life talking to.

On the one hand, it took me so long to get a divorce that I know my days are numbered for being attractive to anyone. But on the other hand, I'm not in a hurry to be owned by or belong to somebody else. So what's it hurt to play "wait and see" a while? I'm open to other possibilities, but in the mean time, talking to him makes me happy. If anything more ever comes of it, then good for us, and at the time we're just a nice afternoon's drive apart (4 hours). If nothing more does, it hasn't been wasted time if it's been good for us both.

And even though we may spar at each other, there is *something* that clicked with us... because we make up. We get drawn back. We move on from there.

Now because of the latest rift though, I don't feel like I can write about him on my tumblr. I don't want to lose any dear friends because I didn't take their advice, and I also just really don't want to hear the flack. But it makes me sad to have to censor myself, because my tumblr is where I put my life. And like it or not, for now, he's part of my life.

Again.